The Power of Apology

By: Greg Aitkens

John 8:7

When they kept on questioning (Jesus), he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

On the way home from a recent CIC Challenge Weekend, I was speaking to another participant who was in the car with me. The word “forgiveness” came up.  I could see that my friend (let’s call him Joe) was a little upset concerning that word. As it turned out, Joe had not been on speaking terms with his best friend “Bob” for several months. He explained that he and his friend did not see “eye-to-eye” on the planning of a joint vacation.

Joe, Bob, and their wives had dinner together most Friday nights. The couples had been planning a trip to France for late in 2011. Since Bob and his wife had to attend quarterly conventions for work, Joe and his wife frequently accommodated their friends’ schedule when planning these vacations together. As deposits were being requested on the trip, Joe asked Bob if the plans could be delayed until a later time because they (Joe and his wife) were involved in a huge kitchen restoration project for their home.

Apparently Bob did not receive this request very well. He quickly made plans with another couple and went off on vacation with them instead. Joe was upset by his friends’ lack of flexibility. Very quickly, the Friday dinners were off too! The relationship between Joe and Bob disintegrated rapidly. They did not speak to each other for months. In addition, Joe admitted that he had been badmouthing Bob behind his back to anyone who would listen.

It occurred to me to suggest that Joe approach Bob with these words: “I owe you an apology; would you please forgive me?” I’d mentioned to Joe that whenever I had mustered the courage to speak these words to people I had offended, godly reconciliations and restorations had occurred.

When I encouraged him say these words to Bob, Joe was startled. He felt he had not done anything wrong. I agreed, but reminded him that he’d admitted to badmouthing his friend. Joe then said, “I’ll have to think about this”. Nothing more was said on the way home.

Less than one hour later, Joe called to tell me he’d received an e-mail from Bob. How ironic, yes? This was the first communication between them in several months. It had to do with “Yankee memorabilia” (Joe is an avid Yankee fan). Joe called Bob, who invited him over to watch an NFL playoff game. While there, Joe had the “forgiveness” conversation as I had suggested. This was hard for him to do, but as a result, the two men began to restore their relationship.

TAKE THE CHALLENGE: Do you need to apologize to or seek forgiveness from anyone? Would you agree that Our Lord desires that broken relationships be restored?